1 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:55,420 - This is the chance of a lifetime, Mr. Tanaka. - Oh? 2 00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:59,084 But I need big bait, I need something unique, 3 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,525 something really valuable. 4 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,552 How valuable? 5 00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:06,258 This valuable. 6 00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:09,894 Do you know how much that is worth? It is totally priceless. 7 00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:14,396 No one in the art world even knows that it is here in the West. 8 00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:17,035 Oh, Mr. Tanaka. 9 00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:20,972 When Captain Ahab went looking for Moby Dick, 10 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,414 he didn't use frozen peas. 11 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:26,112 Is you in or is you ain't? 12 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,321 I think I'm in. 13 00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,624 Now I know for a fact... 14 00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:48,164 that recently Harry Catapodis spent one and a half million dollars in Russia, 15 00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:50,608 buying what he calls "trinkets". 16 00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:53,942 If your Rublev icon isn't an expensive trinket, I don't know what is. 17 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:57,245 That's why I plan to ask for $3 million. 18 00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,410 What? $3 million? 19 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,477 It is insured for 10 million. 20 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:05,218 If he doesn't think it's a bargain, he won't bite. 21 00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:09,187 Lovejoy, I think I have changed my mind. 22 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:14,493 I can see that this operation is going to cost more than we will recover. 23 00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:19,198 Mr. Tanaka, he's not actually going to buy the icon, 24 00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:21,104 only believe he is. 25 00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:26,109 He's gone to a lot of trouble. At least hear him out. 26 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,170 What do you have there? 27 00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:32,184 I have here a document, 28 00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:35,949 which I had made at my own expense. 29 00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,722 Hey, this is written in Russian. 30 00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:41,192 Oh, no shit, Sherlock? 31 00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:43,627 It looks rather ancient. 32 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:47,993 Smells old, too. What does it say, Lovejoy? 33 00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:53,130 This document was written in 1850. 34 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,700 Right? It tells the story of your icon. 35 00:02:56,743 --> 00:03:01,476 It says that in the 18th century, prior to a visit from Catherine the Great 36 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,982 to Vladimir, a town near Moscow, 37 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,884 where and Andrei Rublev screen was being dismantled, 38 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,115 icons were being taken from the screen 39 00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:11,885 and given to various churches. 40 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:15,019 But some of them were taken by the old believers. 41 00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:18,394 - Old what? - Pious Russian families 42 00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:20,865 who keep and guard the icons through the ages 43 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,801 and pass them on from generation to generation. 44 00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:28,034 Your icon is one of those owned by the old believers. 45 00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,735 Did you make that up? 46 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:33,576 Well, yes and no. There are still Andrei Rublev icons unaccounted for. 47 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:36,844 They're worth millions. Only banks can afford them. 48 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,215 Mr. Tanaka will tell you. Where did you get yours? 49 00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:42,653 From a certain eastern European country. 50 00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:47,023 It was used as part payment of a large loan. 51 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,585 You see? They're unobtainable. 52 00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:55,192 So we're going to tell Catapodis that this family wants to sell theirs for hard cash. 53 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,863 Catapodis will be very angry with you 54 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:01,567 when he finds out that you cheated him out of $3 million. 55 00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:04,099 Maybe he will even kill you. 56 00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:05,667 Tanaka's right, Lovejoy. 57 00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:08,078 Harry's got some very heavy connections. 58 00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:11,680 Won't be me that's doing the swindling. 59 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,151 I'll leave that to my man. 60 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,089 Is your man trustworthy? 61 00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:20,354 No, but when it comes to cons, 62 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:23,089 Mordechai has got one of the best track records there is. 63 00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,393 What exactly do you need from me? 64 00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:34,238 I need to copy the Rublev icon, I need a war chest of £10,000 65 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,242 and I want a promise from both of you 66 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:40,110 not to be in touch with Harry Catapodis until this thing is all over. 67 00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,137 Do you trust him, Mrs. Lynch? 68 00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:47,743 Don't forget, we're the ones who asked him to handle this. 69 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,923 Then I'll give you the money. 70 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,119 You pay him and keep accounts. 71 00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:56,626 Agreed. 72 00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:58,130 On one condition. 73 00:04:58,164 --> 00:05:01,031 The Rublev goes nowhere without Watanabe. 74 00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,297 Not even for one single moment. 75 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:08,937 If anything goes wrong, Lovejoy, you finish up as sushi. 76 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,153 (Prays in Latin) 77 00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:03,827 What on earth is he doing? 78 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,990 He's praying for a miracle. 79 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:12,763 Seigneur, rendez-moi mes cheveux. 80 00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,471 Je vous en prie. 81 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:18,306 Pull yourself together, Marcel. 82 00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,278 Your hair's too far gone, 83 00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,247 even for an act of God. 84 00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:29,387 Marcel, this is Mrs. Lynch. 85 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,388 Enchanté. 86 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,022 - And this is Miki Watanabe. - Enchanté. 87 00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:38,957 Miki will be with the icon at all times. 88 00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:44,368 It will arrive by armored vehicle every morning and leave by armored vehicle every evening. 89 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,894 Aha. 90 00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,137 Just look at it. 91 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:54,776 Imagine Rublev's state of mind to paint such a thing. 92 00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:57,305 Without mysticism, 93 00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:00,444 man can achieve nothing great. 94 00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,682 Ah, it glows. 95 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,683 It's vibrant. 96 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:11,728 How exact do you want this copy? 97 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,391 Exact. 98 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,368 - Lovejoy? - Yes? 99 00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:19,268 Exactly who is that man? 100 00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:21,933 Seems like he rows with only one oar. 101 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:23,373 Marcel Jaworski, 102 00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:27,311 finest, baldest and poorest icon restorer in Europe. 103 00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:30,315 Poorest? You just paid him £1,000 for a week's work. 104 00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:33,011 No, that'll all be gone by next week on hair restorer. 105 00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:34,519 You think he's flaky? 106 00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:36,146 You ain't seen nothing yet. 107 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,178 Oh. 108 00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,293 Ma Nishma? Ma Nishma? 109 00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:44,421 How is the boychik? How are you, Lovejoy? 110 00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:49,800 Fine. This is the Mrs. Lynch I was telling you about. Mordechai, an old friend of mine. 111 00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:54,034 - Pleased to meet you, Mordechai. - The pleasure's mine, the pleasure's mine. 112 00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:56,200 Please, take a seat, take a seat. 113 00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,142 Thank you. 114 00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,407 Can I get you a glass of tea? 115 00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,846 How about a GandT? 116 00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:05,316 Lovejoy, gin and tonic! 117 00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:08,277 Madam? 118 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,915 Yes, gin and tonic would be just fine, thank you. 119 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:14,421 Ah, yes, gin and tonic coming up. 120 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:18,853 (Jewish accent lapses) Sorry to hear you got blowed by this Greek gonif. 121 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:22,766 But we'll get it all back for you, Mrs. Lynch. Every penny plus interest. 122 00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:25,930 Believe me, I know these things. 123 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,997 Well, I'm glad to hear that. 124 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,769 Bacon? 125 00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,572 Well, some do, some don't. 126 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:37,111 There's only one thing wrong with this scheme of yours, Lovejoy. 127 00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:38,639 What's that? 128 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:42,450 A couple of genuine Russian matelots I can supply - 129 00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:47,187 boys with so much utzpah you'd buy the Battleship Potemkin from them for cash. 130 00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,215 But... 131 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,990 Enjoy, enjoy. 132 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,656 But? 133 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:55,064 But the one flaw in your plan, Lovejoy, is this. 134 00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,968 Where in God's name are we going to get a Russian ship from? 135 00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,472 I mean, they're not exactly locks and bangles. 136 00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:03,998 Mordechai, part of the reason I've brought you in on this gig 137 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:07,240 is because of a small but important conversation we had a while ago 138 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,248 about your brother-in-law, the docker. 139 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:13,582 The one who was so connected with Russian ships he fed his cat caviar. 140 00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:14,984 Oh, you mean Moshef. 141 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,122 Yes, well, I'm... 142 00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:20,592 No, I'm afraid... I'm afraid he don't work there no more. 143 00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:24,426 He... He got three years for stealing the ship's lifeboat. 144 00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:26,829 - Oh. - Yeah. 145 00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:28,857 Wait a minute. 146 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:33,929 I think I know someone who can get us a ship. In fact, I think he owns a shipping company. 147 00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,372 How well do you know him? 148 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,741 He asked me to marry him a couple of times but I wouldn't dream of it. 149 00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,474 And I'm afraid he doesn't serve his cat caviar. 150 00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:47,953 So, did you spot the deliberate mistake? 151 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,217 No, can't say I did. What was it? 152 00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:54,823 Mordechai's not Jewish. 153 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:57,761 He's not Jewish? You've got to be kidding. 154 00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,992 He just talks and dresses that way. 155 00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,591 Is he a little... 156 00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:05,661 Crazy? No. Sane as you or I. 157 00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:10,608 He reckons the public have respect for uniforms. They think they know who they're dealing with. 158 00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:12,167 Gives him an edge. 159 00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:22,216 That's the spirit, lads. 160 00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,011 See? 161 00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:25,648 Yes. 162 00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:27,919 Keep at it. 163 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,858 So... 164 00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:37,892 You still miss Donald, do you? 165 00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:40,902 Sure I do. 166 00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:46,307 Sometimes I miss him so much that I feel like I'm the only person left on the earth. 167 00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:51,580 Nights are the hardest. 168 00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:52,948 I'm lonely. 169 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,184 Have you ever been married, Lovejoy? 170 00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:00,781 Yeah. 171 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,794 Oh, not anymore. 172 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:06,730 We were both very young. We confused "I love you" with "I want to marry you." 173 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:12,935 It's our daughter, really, who kept us together. She's 18 now. 174 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,837 Do you think you would ever do it again? 175 00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,241 No. 176 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:21,904 Sugar? 177 00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:32,190 Well, Lovejoy, 178 00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:36,991 has Marcel Jaworski triumphed again or has he not? 179 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:41,065 Yes, he has triumphed again. 180 00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:42,825 Acrylic? 181 00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:50,464 You gave me one week, Lovejoy. I could have used emulsion and wallpaper paste. 182 00:11:50,509 --> 00:11:52,374 Did you get the other stuff I asked for? 183 00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:53,742 Mm-hm. 184 00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:57,912 What do you think, Cass? 185 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,620 It's incredible. 186 00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:06,415 I really can't tell the difference. 187 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,450 What about you, Miki? Fooled you too? 188 00:12:09,528 --> 00:12:11,689 They look the same to me. 189 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,926 I still need a couple more hours, 190 00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:16,628 just to get the right bloom and patina. 191 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,467 So if you want to go out for a meal 192 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:22,474 and come back at three o'clock, I will be delighted to see you. 193 00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,874 No, no. By the time we come back at three o'clock, 194 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:27,105 he'll be halfway to Paris with the real Rublev. 195 00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:29,478 Won't you, Marcel? 196 00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:31,176 (Curses in Japanese) 197 00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:36,216 You point to the real icon, please. 198 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,120 Yes. Si. 199 00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,648 - There. - Is he telling the truth? 200 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,991 Yes, he's telling the truth. 201 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,525 I don't know. I know what it looks like but... 202 00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:51,229 I was just testing, Lovejoy. 203 00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:54,239 I would not pull a stroke like that. 204 00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,468 (French accent) "I would not pull a stroke like that." 205 00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:58,568 You're ruthless, Marcel. 206 00:12:59,245 --> 00:13:01,338 You'd do anything for a full head of hair. 207 00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:06,647 I don't know why you bother. 208 00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:09,745 I'm sure a lot of women find that very seductive. 209 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,222 Really? 210 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,052 - Thank you. Au revoir. - Au revoir. 211 00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,991 Au revoir. 212 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,800 Au revoir. 213 00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:40,415 Afternoon, Lovejoy. 214 00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:43,785 Just a bloody minute, that's my bed you've got there. 215 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,051 Not anymore it isn't. 216 00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,115 But we've left your bedding up there. 217 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:52,563 The couple that bought the refectory table and chairs found me the matching bed, 218 00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:54,361 so we sold them the whole set. 219 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,867 Got a good price for it too. 220 00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:59,200 But I can't sleep on the floor. It's the '90s, not the '60s. 221 00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:00,899 That's a bit before my time. 222 00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,737 - Lovejoy... - Why? 223 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,402 - Can I see you? - Yeah. 224 00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:07,435 Please, take this the way it's intended, but... 225 00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:11,513 you can't operate out of a barn so why not stay at my place for a few days? 226 00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:14,110 There's eight bedrooms. 227 00:14:14,153 --> 00:14:16,178 - No, it's an imposition, Cass. - No, no. 228 00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,349 And listen, people start to spread rumors. 229 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,324 You know, gossip and lies. 230 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:24,626 Look, after Donald died the locals spread rumors 231 00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:28,690 that I was either dating or sleeping with people like Mick Jagger or Donald Trump. 232 00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:31,466 Oh. 233 00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:37,171 Well, maybe just for a couple of days until I can pick something up at an auction. 234 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,608 Oh, Eric? 235 00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:40,134 Excuse me, Cass. 236 00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:43,410 - You're a genius. - Eh? 237 00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:54,819 Are you selling those too? 238 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:05,469 Single icons were kept in velvet bags. Now, we need two of them. 239 00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:09,804 It's important that they feel and smell right. Would you hold that? 240 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:14,404 So they would have accumulated smells like must, dust, 241 00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:18,906 mouse pee, vodka, borscht, tobacco and a host of other things Russian. 242 00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:20,612 OK. 243 00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:27,022 No. Needs another century and a couple of wars thrown in. 244 00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,825 Smell that. 245 00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:34,789 That's incredible. 246 00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:37,267 - It smells like the inside of a... - What? 247 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,795 Of a very old church. I can smell... 248 00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:43,535 candles, incense... 249 00:15:43,575 --> 00:15:46,976 You know, that sweet and sour smell of something very, very old. 250 00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:49,480 - Good. - Lovejoy, you're a genius. 251 00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:53,782 - You any good at sewing? - Sure. There's a machine around someplace. 252 00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:57,687 No, Cass. I don't think Mr. Singer was around at the time of Catherine the Great. 253 00:15:57,723 --> 00:16:00,055 You mean I have to sew by hand? 254 00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:01,423 I'll help you. 255 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:06,060 - You think of everything, don't you? - Mm-hm. 256 00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,259 You know, Lovejoy, this is... 257 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:12,361 almost the most exciting thing I've ever done in my whole life. 258 00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,073 I said "almost". 259 00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,541 And now, Mr. Tanaka, 260 00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:26,417 it's testing time. 261 00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:34,357 Would you care to ask the real Andrei Rublev to stand up, please? 262 00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:49,263 You can ask Miki to help you. He watched it being painted. 263 00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,333 (Speaks Japanese) 264 00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,187 (Speak Japanese) 265 00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:16,557 (Speaks Japanese) 266 00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:21,329 We choose this one. This is the copy. 267 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,238 Good. 268 00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:28,178 Then that's the one that Harry Catapodis is going to pay $3 million for. 269 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,646 You are lying, Lovejoy. 270 00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:34,584 You are about to walk out of here with $10 million worth of icon. 271 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,552 - I know you! - Miki, what the hell are you doing? 272 00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:40,490 This is the original, the one you chose. 273 00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:43,290 But I've no intention of going anywhere with either of them. 274 00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:46,593 Tell him to quit that Seven Samurai stuff of I'm off the case. 275 00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,691 (Speaks Japanese) 276 00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:05,683 I'm deeply sorry. 277 00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:07,617 I apologize. 278 00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:10,980 Oh, I... 279 00:18:12,057 --> 00:18:14,048 I accept your apology, Miki. 280 00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:18,257 We're going to have a bit of magic now. 281 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:21,596 Hm? If an icon's been kept in a bag for a couple of hundred years, 282 00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:24,067 you'd expect some of the paint to flake off, right? 283 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:28,836 Well, these are authentic paint samples from a 14th century icon. 284 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:33,806 So when Catapodis wants to test the paint for age, 285 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:38,249 he can have all the samples he wants. 286 00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:52,592 Product launch on a Russian cargo ship. 287 00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:57,527 My dear sweet Cassandra, have you ever been on board one of these things? 288 00:18:57,569 --> 00:18:59,833 They're not exactly cruise liners. 289 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,670 You'd never get anybody in his right mind to come. 290 00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:05,199 What are you launching? 291 00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,075 A green diesel oil? 292 00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:10,980 A new aftershave called Perestroika. We think it will go down well in the West. 293 00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:13,883 (Laughs) Ought to go down well in the East too. 294 00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:19,117 Now I've marked off all the Russian ships we deal with 295 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:22,889 with a schedule to call into UK ports during the next few months. 296 00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:26,295 Now you choose one and I'll arrange for you to go on board. 297 00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:31,396 You are a most kind and generous man, J.P. 298 00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:34,198 How can I ever repay you? 299 00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:38,141 Oh, my dear Cass, by coming with me to Cap d'Antibes next week. 300 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:42,671 My mother's staying at the villa. She enjoys your company enormously. 301 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,380 Well, I'm sorry I can't. I... 302 00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:50,252 do have a stable to run. We're in the middle of the season. 303 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:57,056 Don't you think Cassandra should let me make an honest woman of her, Lovejoy? 304 00:19:57,095 --> 00:19:59,586 I thought she already was, J.P. 305 00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:10,235 (Mordechai) "Ships expected in the British Isles." 306 00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:14,477 What about that one? 307 00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:16,242 The Nikolai Bulganin. 308 00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:20,183 No, that's going to Liverpool. We want Felixstowe, Harwich or Tilbury. 309 00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:28,316 What about this - the Alexander Katorga, 310 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,158 general cargo from Archangel, 311 00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:34,063 arrives in Southampton in five days' time? 312 00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:38,263 - Does that give us enough time? - Five days is a lifetime in this scam. 313 00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:41,329 And it goes on to Rotterdam after leaving Southampton, 314 00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:46,834 so maybe they've got a buyer for the Rublev in Holland, if you know what I mean. 315 00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:50,780 - We go for it, then? - Yeah, let's go for it. 316 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,886 Do you realize that what we're about to do is criminal? 317 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,946 I mean, it's not like stealing hub caps or anything. 318 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:02,825 Lady, if you're going to put your hand into the haimische pickle jar, 319 00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:04,192 put it in... 320 00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:06,356 right up to the elbow. 321 00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:09,497 Oy vey! 322 00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:17,468 (Radio) And for Dallas, it's a high-line drive over short, and the bases are loaded. 323 00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:22,237 - That's OK. - Thanks a lot, chief. 324 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,805 (Phone) 325 00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:26,044 - You have yourself a good day. - Hello? 326 00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:28,575 Thank you, Michelle. 327 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,555 Lovejoy, what a surprise. 328 00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:33,080 How are you? 329 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,786 Fine, Harry, just fine. 330 00:21:34,826 --> 00:21:36,293 What can I do for you? 331 00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:41,925 I've had a very good tip from a friend of mine which I thought might interest you. 332 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:48,031 There's an Andrei Rublev icon arriving on a Russian ship in five days. 333 00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:49,404 It's for sale. 334 00:21:49,441 --> 00:21:51,671 Get the Getty Foundation, Dan Hughes. 335 00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:53,701 Oh, yeah? Hm. 336 00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,144 How much they want? 337 00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:57,842 $3 million. 338 00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:58,941 (Laughs) 339 00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:02,251 It sounds to me like it's been stolen. 340 00:22:02,287 --> 00:22:06,155 No, apparently not. They've got papers of provenance for it and everything. 341 00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:08,455 I don't know, Lovejoy. 342 00:22:10,028 --> 00:22:12,792 Icons, they're very hard to place. 343 00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:16,824 The black market is... It's a very narrow band. 344 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:19,997 No, no. 345 00:22:20,038 --> 00:22:21,938 Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. 346 00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:23,304 I'm not sure. 347 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,333 I'll have to give it some thought. 348 00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:28,376 Have they got anything else? 349 00:22:28,413 --> 00:22:31,610 No, only the icon. I just thought it might interest you. 350 00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:35,416 I think they've got someone lined up for it in Rotterdam anyway. 351 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:40,181 Well, it's good that you think of old Harry, eh? 352 00:22:40,225 --> 00:22:45,458 Ah, have you seen anything of the widow Lynch recently? 353 00:22:45,497 --> 00:22:49,058 Not since the charity do. Why? Do you want me to give her your best? 354 00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:50,261 Are you kidding? 355 00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:52,202 That ungrateful bitch? 356 00:22:52,237 --> 00:22:56,901 She says she's going to sue me for three quarters of a million dollars for a Canaletto. 357 00:22:56,942 --> 00:23:00,105 She claims it's phoney. Phoney, my ass! 358 00:23:00,812 --> 00:23:02,302 Stay away from her, Lovejoy. 359 00:23:02,347 --> 00:23:04,838 She's bad news, believe you me. 360 00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:07,613 Well, thanks for the warning, Harry. 361 00:23:07,652 --> 00:23:11,782 Anyway, I'll give your icon some thought. 362 00:23:11,823 --> 00:23:13,290 I'll ask around. 363 00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:15,452 Thanks for phoning, Lovejoy. 364 00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:17,684 Pleasure, Harry. 365 00:23:23,335 --> 00:23:25,166 Good morning, Dan. How are you? 366 00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:26,864 Harry. I'm fine. 367 00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:30,170 Look, I just wanted to check your feelings 368 00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:36,340 about the possibility of an Andrei Rublev for the foundation. 369 00:23:36,381 --> 00:23:38,246 A Rublev? 370 00:23:38,283 --> 00:23:40,547 We'd be very interested. 371 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,886 Let me introduce Terry and Johnny Slingsby. 372 00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:49,325 Two better boys for this Russian shtick you could not have. 373 00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:51,522 Come in, boys. Come on, come on in. 374 00:23:52,197 --> 00:23:53,824 - All right? - Yeah. 375 00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:56,493 They look about as Russian as Stevie Wonder. 376 00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:58,833 I understand your mother was in the circus. 377 00:23:58,870 --> 00:24:00,030 - Yeah. - That's right. 378 00:24:00,071 --> 00:24:03,700 She used to be the anchor woman in the Ukrainian human pyramid. 379 00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:06,267 She taught us Russian soon as we could open our mouths. 380 00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:09,474 She reckoned if ever the Red Army come bowling down Commercial Road, 381 00:24:09,514 --> 00:24:13,780 we'd at least be able to understand the geezers when they said, "Hands up!" 382 00:24:13,819 --> 00:24:15,684 Go on, then, say something in Russian. 383 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,712 (Both speak made-up Russian) 384 00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:34,563 (Mordechai) Go on, then, sing something. 385 00:24:34,606 --> 00:24:37,200 ♪ Kalenka, kalenka, kalenka... 386 00:24:38,343 --> 00:24:39,332 Stop. 387 00:24:39,377 --> 00:24:41,607 Where the hell did you get this? 388 00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:44,581 It's the ugliest bloody thing I've ever seen in my life. 389 00:24:44,616 --> 00:24:46,311 It's embarrassing, isn't it, Cass? 390 00:24:46,351 --> 00:24:48,080 It's '50s kitsch, Lovejoy. 391 00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:51,888 It's all the rage. We got the whole lot from a house clearance. 392 00:24:51,923 --> 00:24:54,892 - Why oh why do you do this to me, Eric? - (Phone) 393 00:24:54,926 --> 00:24:58,384 You wouldn't like to have to eat off the floor again, would you, Lovejoy? 394 00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:00,955 Would you answer that for me, Eric? 395 00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:03,263 - Where's the list? - Under the phone. 396 00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:09,769 - Lovejoy Associates. Can I help you? - Lovejoy. 397 00:25:09,808 --> 00:25:11,275 And who's calling? 398 00:25:11,309 --> 00:25:12,674 Harry Catapodis. 399 00:25:12,711 --> 00:25:17,273 OK, Mr. Catapodis, if you'll just hold on, I'll go and see if he's in the workshop. 400 00:25:17,315 --> 00:25:19,044 Harry, good to hear you. 401 00:25:19,985 --> 00:25:21,509 Hold on a second. 402 00:25:21,553 --> 00:25:23,214 (Whispers) Goodbye, Eric. 403 00:25:24,556 --> 00:25:26,217 Where are you calling from, Harry? 404 00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:29,022 White's Hotel, London, England. 405 00:25:29,594 --> 00:25:32,324 I just got here. Uh, thank you. 406 00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:35,595 I had some urgent business in Bond Street, 407 00:25:35,634 --> 00:25:38,501 so I thought I'd check in with you. 408 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,732 Well, that's very thoughtful of you, Harry. 409 00:25:40,772 --> 00:25:42,501 Any news of the icon? 410 00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,736 Did your Ruskis ever show up? 411 00:25:44,776 --> 00:25:46,573 Apparently the ship has docked 412 00:25:46,611 --> 00:25:50,103 but I didn't go through with it because you didn't call me back. 413 00:25:50,148 --> 00:25:53,345 I mean, that kind of thing's out of my league. 414 00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:57,219 Maybe I could meet this friend of yours. What do you think? 415 00:25:57,255 --> 00:26:01,214 There's no harm in checking it out if it's still here, is there? 416 00:26:01,259 --> 00:26:02,954 I suppose not. I could call him. 417 00:26:02,994 --> 00:26:06,760 It's just that Mordechai has got this thing about paying telephone bills. 418 00:26:06,798 --> 00:26:08,459 I could send him a telegram, though. 419 00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:11,901 Look, Lovejoy, I only plan to be here for a few days. 420 00:26:11,937 --> 00:26:15,498 Why don't you just get yourself a cab and bill it to me? 421 00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:17,201 OK? 422 00:26:20,946 --> 00:26:22,277 He's on the hook. 423 00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:29,417 Tanaka, it's Lovejoy. 424 00:26:29,454 --> 00:26:32,514 Catapodis is in town and he wants to see the Rublev. 425 00:26:32,557 --> 00:26:34,184 We have lift-off. 426 00:26:55,213 --> 00:26:58,239 Lovejoy, so nice of you to come. 427 00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:00,843 Harry Catapodis, Mordechai Frobel. 428 00:27:00,885 --> 00:27:04,582 Mordechai. Please, gentlemen, come in. Make yourselves at home. 429 00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:06,022 Come and sit down. 430 00:27:09,728 --> 00:27:11,252 Make yourselves at home. 431 00:27:16,801 --> 00:27:19,668 Can I get you gentlemen anything to drink? Gin, whiskey? 432 00:27:19,704 --> 00:27:23,435 - Oh, no, no. I never touch it, thank you. - Good. Down to business. 433 00:27:24,175 --> 00:27:26,507 It's good to make your acquaintance, Mordechai. 434 00:27:29,347 --> 00:27:32,248 You... bring the papers? 435 00:27:32,283 --> 00:27:33,944 Oh, yes. 436 00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:53,603 What do you think of this? 437 00:27:53,638 --> 00:27:57,597 Oh, it looks like a Rublev but I'd want to see it myself first. 438 00:27:59,077 --> 00:28:01,272 Any idea what this thing says? 439 00:28:01,846 --> 00:28:04,007 Oh, yes, it's the... 440 00:28:04,049 --> 00:28:06,950 the Rublev icon family tree. 441 00:28:06,985 --> 00:28:10,887 Where it's been, who owned it, which father passed it onto which son. 442 00:28:10,922 --> 00:28:13,914 It goes from 1750 to 1950. 443 00:28:15,093 --> 00:28:19,530 - May I borrow this? - Oh, no, no, no, no. Please, keep the... 444 00:28:19,564 --> 00:28:21,191 - The Polaroid. - Yes. 445 00:28:22,734 --> 00:28:24,964 I even signed it for you on the back. 446 00:28:29,340 --> 00:28:32,605 OK, how much they want for this thing? 447 00:28:32,644 --> 00:28:35,477 Well, only $3 million. 448 00:28:35,513 --> 00:28:37,344 - Cash. - Three million? 449 00:28:38,616 --> 00:28:40,277 You must be crazy. 450 00:28:41,686 --> 00:28:44,484 Who is this guy, Lovejoy, eh? 451 00:28:46,424 --> 00:28:48,790 $3 million is pitsel. 452 00:28:48,827 --> 00:28:52,558 Don't you know the Andrei Rublev icon is off the scale? 453 00:28:52,597 --> 00:28:54,360 There's not one in the West. 454 00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:57,334 I know that, Mordechai, but three million? I ask you. 455 00:28:57,368 --> 00:28:59,598 I'm wasting my time here. 456 00:29:00,638 --> 00:29:02,401 You said he was a mensch. 457 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,340 I thought he was a major player. 458 00:29:04,375 --> 00:29:08,004 What is he? Some sort of Greek goy who still thinks in drachma? 459 00:29:08,046 --> 00:29:10,537 Look, Mordechai, let's get one thing straight. 460 00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:13,847 First I want to see the goods. I want to translate the papers. 461 00:29:13,885 --> 00:29:17,878 And not until I am 150% satisfied 462 00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:19,549 that this thing is kosher 463 00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:21,991 will I even think of the money. Versteh? 464 00:29:22,026 --> 00:29:26,963 Well, you think about it, Catapodis, but don't waste your time scratching your tuchus. 465 00:29:27,732 --> 00:29:31,395 I'm leaving. If he makes up his mind, call me. 466 00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:32,528 Oy prac. 467 00:29:34,005 --> 00:29:34,994 Oy kolera. 468 00:29:42,313 --> 00:29:44,747 Well, what do you make of that? 469 00:29:46,551 --> 00:29:47,882 Well... 470 00:29:49,020 --> 00:29:50,851 The whole thing sounds fishy to me. 471 00:29:52,023 --> 00:29:54,651 The Rublev's got to be worth three times that. 472 00:29:54,692 --> 00:29:59,925 No, it's obvious that they want our currency. I've dealt with the Russians before, don't forget. 473 00:29:59,964 --> 00:30:02,432 They don't give a damn about their heritage. 474 00:30:02,467 --> 00:30:05,925 They'd sell you the Kremlin if you were dumb enough to haul it away. 475 00:30:05,970 --> 00:30:09,963 OK, where do we get this stuff translated? 476 00:30:10,008 --> 00:30:11,669 Well, under T, 477 00:30:11,709 --> 00:30:13,836 for translators. 478 00:30:13,878 --> 00:30:15,846 Let's have a look. 479 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,509 What have we got? Translators, here we go. We've got... 480 00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:20,882 Arabic... 481 00:30:20,919 --> 00:30:22,648 Oh, we've got Greek even. 482 00:30:22,687 --> 00:30:24,712 Russian. Here we go. 483 00:30:24,756 --> 00:30:26,087 Popov. 484 00:30:27,458 --> 00:30:28,857 Popov. 485 00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:38,268 This is old Russian 486 00:30:38,303 --> 00:30:41,932 with a bit of Armenian thrown in for good measure, you understand? 487 00:30:41,973 --> 00:30:43,998 But what does it say? 488 00:30:44,042 --> 00:30:49,344 It tells that an icon was painted by Rublev Andrei. 489 00:30:49,380 --> 00:30:52,645 It was taken from a... 490 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:54,948 What's this word? 491 00:30:54,986 --> 00:30:58,547 Oh yes, a screen in the cathedral of Vladimir. 492 00:30:58,590 --> 00:31:00,888 - A very famous place. - Very famous, yes. 493 00:31:01,659 --> 00:31:06,824 And has been guarded by a family of old believers since the 18th century. 494 00:31:07,632 --> 00:31:09,827 Everyone, fathers and sons, 495 00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:14,100 who have guarded the icon up until the 1950s 496 00:31:14,138 --> 00:31:16,504 have put their names on the list. 497 00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:20,944 - You want me to read them out to you? - No, that's OK, Mr. Popov. Don't bother. 498 00:31:20,979 --> 00:31:24,244 This script is ancient. It's hard to read. 499 00:31:26,150 --> 00:31:28,584 This is a very important icon, if you ask me. 500 00:31:28,620 --> 00:31:31,350 Does that document look genuine to you? 501 00:31:31,389 --> 00:31:34,881 Sure, for a photocopy it looks very genuine to me. 502 00:31:34,926 --> 00:31:39,124 It's so old, I could have written it myself. 503 00:31:39,964 --> 00:31:41,625 Is that a fact? 504 00:31:45,503 --> 00:31:47,562 I got the feeling we should take a look. 505 00:31:47,605 --> 00:31:51,132 If you want my opinion, it's a waste of time, but take a look by all means. 506 00:31:51,175 --> 00:31:53,405 - Can you fix it? - Of course I can fix it. 507 00:31:53,444 --> 00:31:56,607 - First of all we have to fix some ground rules. - And they are? 508 00:31:56,648 --> 00:32:00,049 10% of the final selling price, if the deal goes through. 509 00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:02,279 - Are you? - 10%, Harry. 510 00:32:21,973 --> 00:32:24,874 This is Mrs. Lynch. Captain Valentin. 511 00:32:24,909 --> 00:32:26,774 - Hello. - Hello, captain. 512 00:32:26,811 --> 00:32:29,336 I've explained everything to the captain, my dear. 513 00:32:29,380 --> 00:32:31,644 He's going to do everything he can to help you. 514 00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:34,311 I hope it all works out. 515 00:32:34,352 --> 00:32:37,321 This is all very kind of you, J.P. How can I ever thank you? 516 00:32:38,222 --> 00:32:39,655 No comment. 517 00:33:03,915 --> 00:33:08,045 Captain Valentin, I'd like you to meet my associate, Mr. Frobel. 518 00:33:08,086 --> 00:33:09,075 Hello. 519 00:33:19,030 --> 00:33:22,557 This is one hell of a way to come to see some icon, Lovejoy. 520 00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:25,602 Where did you say this place was? 521 00:33:25,636 --> 00:33:28,571 Southampton. Frankly, Harry, I wouldn't have bothered. 522 00:33:29,574 --> 00:33:32,008 My attitude is, what you never have, you never miss. 523 00:33:32,043 --> 00:33:34,603 That's the difference between you and me, Lovejoy. 524 00:33:34,645 --> 00:33:38,376 I'd never sleep nights if I thought I was close to something 525 00:33:38,416 --> 00:33:41,249 and I didn't know whether it was gold or dog do. 526 00:33:41,285 --> 00:33:42,684 You will soon. 527 00:33:59,871 --> 00:34:02,237 Before we reveal the icon, 528 00:34:03,608 --> 00:34:05,473 I just want to say 529 00:34:07,245 --> 00:34:10,510 that these two boys here 530 00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:15,850 have brought it to the West at great personal risk to themselves. 531 00:34:16,621 --> 00:34:18,646 And if word gets out, 532 00:34:18,689 --> 00:34:24,355 the K.G.B. Would open a gulag especially for them. Versteh? 533 00:34:25,163 --> 00:34:26,790 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got that. 534 00:34:26,831 --> 00:34:28,355 Now where is it? 535 00:34:28,399 --> 00:34:32,836 What Mordechai say is pravda, truth. 536 00:34:32,870 --> 00:34:34,201 Understand? 537 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:39,640 This... most beautiful thing you see, huh? 538 00:34:48,486 --> 00:34:50,545 My God. 539 00:34:50,588 --> 00:34:54,080 It is incredible, 540 00:34:54,125 --> 00:34:55,456 I agree. 541 00:35:04,569 --> 00:35:06,594 What do you think, Lovejoy? 542 00:35:06,637 --> 00:35:08,730 Oh, yes, it is... 543 00:35:10,141 --> 00:35:11,438 incredible. 544 00:35:13,611 --> 00:35:16,444 But it could have been made in Vladivostok yesterday. 545 00:35:16,481 --> 00:35:18,574 What kind of talk is that? 546 00:35:18,616 --> 00:35:22,950 If you're not interested, these are good people. Do not waste their time. 547 00:35:22,987 --> 00:35:25,012 Who's wasting their time? 548 00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:31,293 Just calm down. 549 00:35:31,329 --> 00:35:33,024 Excuse us one moment. 550 00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:34,962 Lovejoy. 551 00:35:41,672 --> 00:35:44,869 Well, Lovejoy, what do you think? 552 00:35:45,643 --> 00:35:48,339 Looks like a Rublev, smells like a Rublev. 553 00:35:48,379 --> 00:35:53,146 Hm, and there's the papers of provenance. I mean, they look genuine enough. 554 00:35:53,885 --> 00:35:56,945 I mean, these guys, they're too dumb to think that one up. 555 00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:59,684 Oh, don't be too sure. It's the first thing I'd do. 556 00:35:59,724 --> 00:36:04,593 Do you think that we could have a microscopy test done of the paint before tomorrow? 557 00:36:04,629 --> 00:36:06,961 Sure, if they give us a sample. 558 00:36:13,437 --> 00:36:17,806 Look, fellas, just to confirm that we're not buying the washroom door, 559 00:36:17,842 --> 00:36:21,005 we want to have the paint tested. 560 00:36:22,346 --> 00:36:23,677 (Speaks mock Russian) 561 00:36:25,750 --> 00:36:27,741 Er... 562 00:36:27,785 --> 00:36:29,776 (Replies in mock Russian) 563 00:36:36,060 --> 00:36:37,687 - Niet. - Niet. 564 00:36:37,728 --> 00:36:39,719 (Speaks mock Russian) 565 00:36:42,733 --> 00:36:44,064 What's he say? 566 00:36:44,101 --> 00:36:46,729 They don't want you to touch the paint. 567 00:36:46,771 --> 00:36:50,036 If you do, they'll break your bleedin' arm. 568 00:36:50,074 --> 00:36:54,511 You're talking $3 million one minute and he wants to put me in plaster the next? 569 00:36:54,545 --> 00:36:58,982 You're crazy! I can't do business like this. You should be locked up, the lot of you! 570 00:36:59,016 --> 00:37:00,711 What are you talking about? 571 00:37:00,751 --> 00:37:02,844 We're talking $3 million! 572 00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:06,823 You're going to break my arm! You should grow up, you know that? You're crazy! 573 00:37:06,857 --> 00:37:10,190 - Ah! - Just a moment, just a moment! 574 00:37:13,664 --> 00:37:14,995 Paint samples. 575 00:37:21,272 --> 00:37:23,331 Flakes from the paint. 576 00:37:30,348 --> 00:37:31,337 So... 577 00:37:32,617 --> 00:37:34,141 We have sample... 578 00:37:35,052 --> 00:37:37,612 and nothing is broken. 579 00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:44,361 (Speaks mock Russian) 580 00:37:44,395 --> 00:37:46,863 OK. You test paint. 581 00:37:46,897 --> 00:37:50,424 Then we leave in 24 hours. We go to Rotterdam. 582 00:37:51,636 --> 00:37:54,161 Can't be fairer than that, can we? 583 00:37:54,205 --> 00:37:57,003 Don't pass it up, Catapodis. 584 00:37:57,041 --> 00:38:00,772 You won't get another chance this century. That I know for nothing. 585 00:38:00,811 --> 00:38:04,144 - How come you're not interested? - Who, me? 586 00:38:04,181 --> 00:38:08,481 (Laughs) Saints, virgins - hardly my kind of theology, is it? 587 00:38:10,454 --> 00:38:12,388 OK, for the moment we stop business. 588 00:38:12,423 --> 00:38:14,186 We come back later. 589 00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:15,783 Lovejoy. 590 00:38:22,533 --> 00:38:24,364 Dosvedanya. 591 00:38:27,571 --> 00:38:29,436 - All right, all right. - All right! 592 00:38:29,473 --> 00:38:30,701 (Speaks Japanese) 593 00:38:30,741 --> 00:38:32,368 All right. 594 00:38:36,547 --> 00:38:38,742 Come on, come on. What does it show? 595 00:38:40,584 --> 00:38:43,075 As far as I can tell there are no substances in the paint 596 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,714 to indicate the icon is a contemporary copy. 597 00:38:45,756 --> 00:38:50,420 What you're saying is that the paint comes from the 14th century? 598 00:38:51,228 --> 00:38:54,026 I can't say that. As yet no test can. 599 00:38:54,065 --> 00:38:55,930 What I can say with absolute certainty 600 00:38:55,966 --> 00:38:59,265 is that the pigments you've given me are consistent with that era, 601 00:38:59,303 --> 00:39:02,500 which in this case just happens to be the 14th century. 602 00:39:04,275 --> 00:39:05,936 So it's old? 603 00:39:05,976 --> 00:39:08,536 That's about what we know. It's old. 604 00:39:09,647 --> 00:39:11,376 Excuse me. 605 00:39:12,149 --> 00:39:13,138 Lovejoy. 606 00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:16,051 Lovejoy, what is this? 607 00:39:16,087 --> 00:39:18,749 You got some deal with the Dutch in Rotterdam? 608 00:39:18,789 --> 00:39:21,986 15% instead of 10? Come on, out with it. 609 00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:24,051 Whatever happens, it's your decision. 610 00:39:24,095 --> 00:39:28,156 I just don't want to find myself in the position of having to say, "I told you so." 611 00:39:28,199 --> 00:39:33,364 You won't. Call Mordechai and ask him if Tom and Jerry will take banker's drafts. 612 00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:46,380 Thank you, Ted. 613 00:39:57,695 --> 00:39:58,992 I just want to confirm 614 00:39:59,029 --> 00:40:03,022 that the Alexander Katorga is leaving Southampton today for Rotterdam. 615 00:40:04,101 --> 00:40:06,763 It is? Thank you very much. 616 00:40:08,105 --> 00:40:11,040 Well, there it is, boys. 617 00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:13,805 That's my apartment you're looking at there. 618 00:40:13,844 --> 00:40:17,211 Very spacious. Have you got the banker's drafts? 619 00:40:18,549 --> 00:40:20,915 I want you to think about this very carefully. 620 00:40:20,951 --> 00:40:22,441 I already have. 621 00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:24,414 Let's go. 622 00:40:24,455 --> 00:40:25,979 You two, bring it. 623 00:40:35,132 --> 00:40:36,463 They're coming. 624 00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:22,913 Ah, it's good to see you again. Catapodis. 625 00:41:22,947 --> 00:41:24,209 Nice to see you. 626 00:41:25,516 --> 00:41:27,746 It's good to see the gang's all here, eh? 627 00:41:28,919 --> 00:41:31,615 Can I offer anybody a nice cup of Russian tea? 628 00:41:31,655 --> 00:41:33,520 That's very kind but I don't think so. 629 00:41:33,557 --> 00:41:35,422 I wouldn't mind a cup of tea. 630 00:41:35,459 --> 00:41:37,620 - I wouldn't mind a cup of vod... tea. - Tea. 631 00:41:37,661 --> 00:41:40,061 I suppose we have to keep the workers happy. 632 00:41:40,598 --> 00:41:42,361 Very kind of you. 633 00:41:42,399 --> 00:41:44,367 (Speaks mock Russian) 634 00:41:45,936 --> 00:41:49,804 Mordechai... Mordechai, what's he just said? 635 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:52,900 Er, he wants to know what you've got. 636 00:41:52,943 --> 00:41:54,274 Boys. 637 00:42:09,059 --> 00:42:13,894 Now there are two cases like that full of gold. See, another one up there. 638 00:42:13,931 --> 00:42:15,956 OK. 639 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:22,235 And here I have these banker's drafts from International Bank, New York. 640 00:42:22,273 --> 00:42:24,264 OK? Banker's drafts. 641 00:42:24,308 --> 00:42:26,435 International Bank. 642 00:42:29,013 --> 00:42:30,674 Satisfied? 643 00:42:30,714 --> 00:42:32,511 - Da. - Da, OK. 644 00:42:36,086 --> 00:42:39,055 May I see the icon? 645 00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:55,903 Ah. 646 00:43:07,685 --> 00:43:09,312 What are you doing? 647 00:43:09,353 --> 00:43:14,313 Last time I handled this, I made a little cross on the back with my thumbnail. 648 00:43:14,358 --> 00:43:16,724 I can't seem to see it. 649 00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,456 You know something, I'm beginning to... 650 00:43:19,496 --> 00:43:20,690 Try this. 651 00:43:21,332 --> 00:43:22,663 Thank you. 652 00:43:26,103 --> 00:43:28,799 Ah, here it is. I've got it here. 653 00:43:29,873 --> 00:43:31,067 Yes. 654 00:43:34,011 --> 00:43:35,979 Have you got the papers? 655 00:43:36,013 --> 00:43:37,344 OK. 656 00:43:39,817 --> 00:43:41,148 Thank you. 657 00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:51,491 Second opinion. 658 00:43:55,866 --> 00:43:57,060 Hm-hm. 659 00:43:57,101 --> 00:43:59,035 They look kosher to me. 660 00:43:59,069 --> 00:44:02,197 (Russian over tannoy) 661 00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:03,570 What's he saying? 662 00:44:03,607 --> 00:44:05,666 We leave in ten minutes. 663 00:44:05,709 --> 00:44:08,837 In ten minutes? Just one moment, excuse me. 664 00:44:08,879 --> 00:44:10,210 Lovejoy. 665 00:44:18,389 --> 00:44:21,085 Well, I've come this far. Are you still skeptical? 666 00:44:21,125 --> 00:44:23,025 What do you think? 667 00:44:23,060 --> 00:44:26,120 You've come this far, you might as well go for the whole 10 yards 668 00:44:26,163 --> 00:44:27,824 but just one thing, Harry. 669 00:44:30,567 --> 00:44:33,900 The ship leaves in ten minutes, the cash is on the table. 670 00:44:34,938 --> 00:44:40,240 One and a half million. More money than they've ever seen in their lives. 671 00:44:41,245 --> 00:44:43,736 I offer them a million and a half? 672 00:44:44,715 --> 00:44:47,047 They're crazy but they're not that crazy. 673 00:44:47,084 --> 00:44:49,177 Well, try it. What have you got to lose? 674 00:44:57,461 --> 00:45:01,557 OK, I've decided to buy the icon 675 00:45:01,598 --> 00:45:05,466 but not for $3 million, for one and a half. 676 00:45:05,502 --> 00:45:09,734 All the cash and the gold, but not the banker's drafts. 677 00:45:12,309 --> 00:45:14,106 (Speaks mock Russian) 678 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:17,274 (Both) Niet. 679 00:45:17,748 --> 00:45:20,148 (Speaks mock Russian) 680 00:45:20,184 --> 00:45:22,812 Three million. Three million. 681 00:45:25,122 --> 00:45:26,521 Deal is off. 682 00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:29,355 Oh, sugar! See what happens when I listen to you? 683 00:45:30,094 --> 00:45:33,393 (Harry) Come back here, boys. For God's sake, come back. 684 00:45:34,231 --> 00:45:37,689 (Speaks mock Russian) 685 00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:40,727 - Three million. - What's he say? 686 00:45:40,771 --> 00:45:44,207 He says you have two minutes and it's still $3 million. 687 00:45:44,241 --> 00:45:47,335 It's a good deal that, Catapodis. Tell him, Lovejoy. 688 00:45:47,377 --> 00:45:49,072 What am I supposed to say? 689 00:45:50,581 --> 00:45:52,606 (Russian over tannoy) 690 00:45:52,649 --> 00:45:54,981 Two minutes. 691 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:57,109 (Ship's horn) 692 00:45:57,154 --> 00:45:59,054 OK, I agree. 693 00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:00,488 Here. 694 00:46:00,524 --> 00:46:02,355 Here are the banker's drafts. 695 00:46:08,198 --> 00:46:09,358 OK? 696 00:46:11,235 --> 00:46:12,566 Da. 697 00:46:13,670 --> 00:46:16,833 (Speaks mock Russian) 698 00:46:19,376 --> 00:46:20,968 Good. 699 00:46:21,011 --> 00:46:23,309 OK, fellas, let's get out of here. 700 00:46:24,815 --> 00:46:26,544 Have a nice day, Harry. 701 00:46:33,357 --> 00:46:36,815 Hey, Lovejoy, why don't you call Rotterdam 702 00:46:36,860 --> 00:46:38,885 and tell them it's not coming? 703 00:46:38,929 --> 00:46:41,420 I never had a deal with the Dutch, Harry. 704 00:46:42,733 --> 00:46:44,860 That's your story and you're sticking to it. 705 00:46:44,902 --> 00:46:48,804 Nice working with you, boys. Bye, Lovejoy. 706 00:46:48,839 --> 00:46:50,864 It's nice working with you, Harry. 707 00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:54,338 - Bye. - Bye. 708 00:46:55,579 --> 00:46:57,240 (All) Yeah! 709 00:46:59,249 --> 00:47:00,876 Cass. 710 00:47:03,453 --> 00:47:05,250 - Get off. - Hey! 711 00:47:06,089 --> 00:47:08,114 Hey, come up quickly. 712 00:47:25,042 --> 00:47:26,839 (Exclaims in Japanese) 713 00:47:28,245 --> 00:47:30,577 (Lovejoy) He's trying to get away with the gold. 714 00:47:30,614 --> 00:47:33,811 - (Speaks Japanese) - No, plan B. 715 00:47:41,892 --> 00:47:43,519 - What's going on? - Plan B. 716 00:47:54,171 --> 00:47:56,969 - Hey! - The walkie-talkie. 717 00:48:08,118 --> 00:48:09,449 (Chuckles) 718 00:48:47,424 --> 00:48:50,825 (Eric) Lovejoy, he's heading out towards the main channel. 719 00:48:52,829 --> 00:48:55,855 - I've lost him. - We've lost him. We've got to go up higher. 720 00:49:06,009 --> 00:49:10,173 - He's holding the same course. - He's holding the same course. 721 00:49:15,485 --> 00:49:20,320 - He's turning toward the big bridge. - He's turning toward the big bridge. 722 00:49:20,357 --> 00:49:24,259 (Tinker) He's heading towards the shore by the south end of the bridge. 723 00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:30,627 (Eric) He's going to land by the south end of the bridge. 724 00:49:38,008 --> 00:49:39,839 He's landed. He's getting out of the boat. 725 00:49:39,876 --> 00:49:43,175 (Eric) He's landed. Now don't do anything foolish, Lovejoy. 726 00:49:50,220 --> 00:49:51,551 Oi. 727 00:49:55,959 --> 00:49:58,928 If anyone asks, you thought we were from Greenpeace. 728 00:50:16,079 --> 00:50:17,512 Nice one. 729 00:50:19,783 --> 00:50:23,446 ♪ Happy days are here again... 730 00:50:26,723 --> 00:50:29,214 Mordechai! 731 00:50:29,259 --> 00:50:30,817 All right, all right. 732 00:50:31,695 --> 00:50:33,959 You really had us worried there for a minute. 733 00:50:37,067 --> 00:50:38,557 Fancy a drink? 734 00:50:38,602 --> 00:50:40,092 Why not?